Tuesday, March 3, 2009

For Couples Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn
(Christian Living/Practical Life)

I can't begin to say enough how amazing this book was. Beth Moore called it "an important book!" Les and Leslie Parrott referred to it as an "eye opener". Saying anything less on either count would totally be selling this book short. No wonder it's on the best seller list. It was so completely revealing and insightful.

Just the other day I actually made the comment that I think every wife or wife-to-be should read this book. The statistical materials that Shaunti felt lead to incorporate are nothing short of incredible. I've been married for going on ten years this June, and I thought I knew all I needed to know about being a wife. Okay, not everything. I don't think you can truly ever know EVERYTHING. But that being said, I really didn't think I knew as little about some areas of the male make up as it turns out I did. So much of what the author goes in to should, you'd think, be such simple information that we, as women and wives, would have already known it. And yet when you really get in there and break things down you find out you really didn't have a clue. Or, I didn't anyhow. And seems, that I'm not the minority here or this book wouldn't be out for discussion in the first place.

After having spent countless hours researching, developing and reviewing survey questions and answers, and conducting thousands of interviews- all with and about men and their inner secret lives- Shaunti Feldhahn has gathered together her findings in to this great compact book. A book that will certainly open your eyes to a side of your man, and the male society as a whole, you had no idea existed.

There are so many things we women simply do not get about guys. That, however, doesn't mean that men are just sex driven clods underneath a suave exterior. As For Women Only shows, a guy's mind, heart, and being are all such complicated structures. Unfortunately, society has come to develope such a biased mindset when it comes to men, that when it comes down to it we women tend to think we know far more than we really do about the men in our lives. Just two of the ideas that we have come to take as fact are that men only think about sex so they can have a good thrill but that when all things are considered they'd just rather skip the romance that most women crave. Not true, according to the astounding results shown at the end of Feldhahn's research.

This book should be a must read for all women. Reading it will not only open you up to a whole new world of understanding regarding men in general, but it will open up doors to you to walk through in your own personal relationships. Imagine just how much of a difference it might make in your life with your husband/significant other if you truly understood his inner clockwork. You may be like me and think you don't need any help in this department. Maybe you have a seemingly great relationship already, but wouldn't it be fantastic if because you took a little time out of your busy schedule to read this book you could then bump that relationship from fantastic to infinitely wonderful? What if you were able to garner even one new gem of understanding- one simple revelation that would make the difference between living in an ordinary marriage/relationship and living in an extraordinary one? Open your mind. Open your eyes. Open your heart. I promise, you'll learn more than you thought possible.

You'll learn a whole new way to truly meet your husband on the page he's on, a whole new way to support him, a whole new way to cherish him, and a whole new way to love him. Men and woman are alike in many ways, but we are anything but the same. Wouldn't it be great to experience the utmost truest joys of love and fulfilment in a relationship? I thought so. That's why I read this book. And I can't begin to tell you how much, in literally a short matter of days (all the longer it took me to read this book), For Women Only has impacted my life- and my husband's- for the better.

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
(Christian Living/Practical Life/Men)

Women, yes, it's true, are a complicated bunch. We say one thing when really we mean another. We act one way when really it's not how we feel. Certainly it's safe to say that women, as a gender, are a tricky bunch. We love our men and we want them to understand us- to think like we do, to act like we do. But when it comes down to it, understanding the female isn't so simply put for most guys.

That's why husband and wife team, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn decided to partner up to write the book For Men Only, a companion to Shaunti's early release, For Women Only. In For Women Only Shaunti tackled the idea of understanding the inner male. Now with For Men Only she's back, with her husband, to tackle the inner make up of the female mind. Scientific surveys and hundreds of personal interviews along with hours of research have paved the path for this relevant and revealing read.

As a woman and, more importantly, a wife, I'm excited to see the Feldhahns expose the woman's utmost inner self for the genuinely complicated but COMPLETELY understandable being that we all hold deep inside. That one that guys know about but rarely can wrap their minds around. For you see, a woman can have the most beautiful porcelain skin, a perfectly delicate body and features, gorgeous hair the color of golden rays of sunshine, and a spirit as unquestionably soft and innocent as a gentle Summer's breeze. Yet still, underneath is all, will still lie the complicated inner workings of the female heart and mind.

Men everywhere who are married or in a legitimate relationship with a woman should seriously consider checking this book out. It will open up a whole new world of understanding when it comes to knowing the women they love. Perceptions can be misleading which is why so often couples suffer hurt feelings and active discord. Something as simple as a woman wanting to vent her frustrations to the man she loves can leave him anxious and confused as to how he's supposed to deal with the situation. Little does he realize this is not the woman asking for him to somehow come up with a fix all for her problems. She merely wants him to acknowledge her feelings, and help console her in her time of need.

It's topics like this that the authors build their book on. All such simple principals that will leave women saying, "Yes!! Why didn't he know that already?!" and men saying, "OMG! Why didn't she just say that all along?!" So again, yes, women are anything but straightforward much of the time. But with a little helpful insight from Jeff and Shaunti men everywhere can begin to redefine their understanding of the women in their lives, and when all is said and done I'm most certain there will be many improved relationships because of it.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

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